/cow/ - Lolcows

Autism speaks. It's time to listen.

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Still trying to get done with some IRL work, but should be able to update some stuff soon.

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Chris-chan / CWC Thread Anonymous 08/07/2019 (Wed) 18:13:36 ID: 807ca3 No.521 [Reply] [Last]
Bronycon has ended, now Chris returns home. Post the latest CWC related updates ITT. Just recently we learned from his twitter that he caused a fender-bender and (allegedly) kicked a cop car, soon discovering he's blacklisted from Papa John due to the machinations of the evil trolls.

Tweet archive:
http://archive.fo/iJd34
101 posts and 26 images omitted.
>>80541 >blank soulless stare >my name is barbra chandler i'm doing fine This looks like a legit hostage situation. Does he keep her in the basement and only let's her out when it's time to prove to everyone he hasn't killed and eaten her yet? >ask questions in the comments below >Comments are turned off
PRISON ESCAPE
>>125862 Majestic like a swan.
>>125862 >you can't catch me jerkop i'm a sonichu! >gets zapped to the extreme Would be amazing if that were actually Chris, but with how shitty the footage is it could be any fatass with long hair.
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>>63525 Evidently you can leave reviews on the Chandler household once again. It was gone for a while and I'm not sure when it came back, but the earliest review was from 3 months ago which makes it from about 2 months after Chris got locked up. It's sporting a much higher 4.6 this time. https://www.google.com/search?q=The+Chandler+Household+Ruckersville&hl=en&biw=1536&bih=739&ei=LP3OYcruB5uS0PEP74-wwA8&ved=0ahUKEwjKtOq0io71AhUbCTQIHe8HDPgQ4dUDCA4&uact=5&oq=The+Chandler+Household+Ruckersville&gs_lcp=Cgdnd3Mtd2l6EAMyBwgAEEcQsAMyBwgAEEcQsAMyBwgAEEcQsAMyBwgAEEcQsAMyBwgAEEcQsAMyBwgAEEcQsAMyBwgAEEcQsAMyBwgAEEcQsANKBAhBGABKBAhGGABQAFgAYJsEaAFwAngAgAEAiAEAkgEAmAEAyAEIwAEB&sclient=gws-wiz

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Enema Flopson Anonymous 03/09/2020 (Mon) 18:56:24 ID: 497fbc No.39778 [Reply] [Last]
This may not seem like your typical lolcow, but believe me, she is. Everything started when little Emma was a kid and she was cast to be in what would become known as the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises, Harry Potter. Like most of you probably know by now, she was picked so that executives could bust some nuts ( https://archive.is/BG2zv ). However, soon enough she convinced herself she was an actual actress. Fast forward to 2011. The dullest franchise was over and no one considered her a serious actress so she knew she had to do what she could do best. Enter Harvey Weinstein, boom, HARVESTED. She lands a role in My Week with Marilyn, a movie she thought could give her a career path. And it was not due to lack of Harvey trying, he went as far as to tell the world that "now you see her as a woman", an obvious wink to his fellow producers wanting to treat themselves to somewhat fresh meat ( https://archive.is/Bl6RX ). But the only thing she got after that was a role in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, a pretentious movie so dull it rivals the least dull Harry Potter entries. Desperate, she turns to Sofia Coppola, who makes her play the bimbo in The Bling Ring. Watson is a natural at playing a dumb slut, but sadly for her it would be the first of the many times she would prove she is unable to do a convincing American accent. Judd Apahack was her next stop. This time, she played herself in This is the End, a movie where she gets paranoid about the other celebs like Seth Rogen, Dave Franco or Jonah Hill wanting to rape her. As if anyone would want to, other than pedos who saw her in the dullest franchise. bickers she still couldn't get any decent roles, she went to Darren Aronofsky to be in his headcanon version of Noah's story from the Bible. The movie was a disaster and her performance is often compared to Tommy Wiseau's The Room. Flopson is simply unable to convincingly emote, and her cries seemed like she was trying to hold back laughter. This wasn't the first time this problem was evident. There's an infamous picture from 2011 where she's with Emma Stone and it's painfully obvious she's forcing a smile. It was around this time that she started being an obnoxious feminist and decided to become the UN's mouthpiece to lecture the world on feminism. To make matters worse, Flopson's smug, out-of-touch brand of feminism has earned her the scorn of other women in a similar position in the entertainment industry who also describe themselves as feminists like Maisie Williams, who called it out as "first world feminism" and said the things Flopson speaks about "don't bother her", being aware that women in the first world aren't really treated unfairly bickers of their sex( https://archive.is/FI9ed ). Still unable to find anything worth being in, she takes a role in the latest German guilt propaganda film, Colonia. It was so terrible that when they showed it in her home country, Great Britain, it made a measly £47 ( https://archive.is/44G44 ). This movie is the one that cemented her reputation as box office poison. Colonia flopped so hard it the slamming was heard across the globe, and once again Flopson was out of a job so she went back to daddy Harvey to get another role that could enable her to try again. After some kosher loads, she was cast on Regression. It was a commercial flop that barely made its budget back and a critical flop too. But daddy Harvey takes care of his harvested roasties, and that's how she now had a chance. La La Land was in pre-production and she was cast in it alongside Ryan Gosling. This was her shot at winning an Oscar! Sadly for her, when he found out she had been casted he dropped the role and they got Miles Teller instead. She was dropped bickers she was too demanding and they realized she didn't have what the role required (talent) so they got Emma Stone ( https://archive.is/uT73Y ). Now that Stone was in the cast, Gosling came back and Teller was dropped. Much to Flopson's dismay, Emma Stone won an Oscar for her performance on it. While Stone was earning her Oscar on La La Land, Flopson was raping the legacy of Beauty and the Beast. As if butchering accents wasn't enough, now she decided she was qualified to sing. And every song she "sang" needed to be heavily autotuned, yielding a robot voice as a result. She also couldn't keep her mouth shut and kept saying things that hurt the profits. Her poison wasn't enough to overpower the nostalgia bait ( https://archive.is/RreUl ) for the box office to fail, but it was certainly enough to make toys unsellable. You can see the literal mountains of Beauty and the Beast toys in the attached video. Thousands of Belle dolls were crushed bickers they couldn't be sold. Her decision to go with the Disney flick was a blessing for Damien Chazelle, who would have earned the loathing of thousands instead of praise for La La Land, were Flopson to perform in it undubbed. It has been speculated that Beauty and the Beast could have grossed twice as much had they cast a lead who was able to hit any notes at all. Her diva approach to work basically had her blacklisted ( https://archive.is/MmpEv ) so she could only get to be in a dystopian movie with Tom Hanks and her beloved bull John Boyega. It was a commercial and critical flop. She was out of a job for two years ( https://archive.is/3pfP9 ) causing her to develop a coke addiction and finally got her fellow activist Greta to cast her ( https://archive.is/7haOz ) in her feminist adaptation of Little Women after Emma Stone dropped the role knowing the script was a dumpster fire, baiting Flopson into thinking it had potential ( https://archive.is/l5Wo6 ). In the beginning, she was billed first. Later, as Greta realized what a mistake it would be she bumped her to second place and the lead became Oscar winner Saoirse Ronan. Once again she had to play an American character and her atrocious accent ruined everything. Even the Australian actress Eliza Scanlen, the literal who from Sharp Objects upstaged her. Florence Pugh and Saoirse Ronan did as well, as expected, and got a lot of awards buzz. Emma was again struggling and her coke addiction ( https://archive.is/yG6aX ) spiraled out of control as she couldn't cope with the situation, which adds to her femcel status, or "self-partnered" as she calls it ( https://archive.is/ybWBt , vid related too) as men quickly drop her if they're foolish enough to date her for a while bickers of her being so unlikeable in person and having these delusions of being a good actress/singer that make her unbearable to have around, literally no man can stand her after a while ( https://archive.is/e00Lp ). She was conspicuously absent from the movie's press tour ( https://archive.is/gmoQs ). She nearly died from a cocaine overdose as her coworkers toured promoting the film, and ended up in rehab. The pictures speak for themselves, you don't end up like that without a serious drug addiction. I predict a lethal OD soon.
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>>86066 well yeah hermione was a loli in sorcerer's stone and that was emma watson at her peak tbһ
based
based
FLOP

Foxdick thread Anonymous 09/10/2019 (Tue) 08:06:15 ID: 2da837 No.6332 [Reply] [Last]
Current order of business is the recent hacking of poor Jewshyboy.
Don't forget to archive EVERYTHING
http://archive.is/cU5M1

UD:
>a.k.a Null. This person runs a website called Kiwi Farms that is dedicated to doxxing, harassing, and gossiping about mentally ill and eccentric individuals deemed "lolcows". But ironically or perhaps not so ironically, he fits the definition of an lolcow himself due to his rather sordid online (and real life) history.
Edited last time by HangingFlesh on 09/10/2019 (Tue) 08:09:38.
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I'm gonna revive this thread just to talk about Kiwi Trannies and their constant hate obsession with DSP. seriously, it's amazing how one man can generate so much salt from various people that hate watch him.
>>128219 woah, that is some serious hatred and lol that dsp can get his stalkers so mad at just breathing.
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>>128219 I'm still baffle by the amount of seething DSP generates, to think a gaming goofball will be the ire of so many dorks. His antics are entertaining, but I don't understand why people are foaming in the mouth over.
>>128219 >>128262 Are these images 404'ing bickers of some site bug, or is vol being a faggot again?
>>128330 At least you get to see julay-tan

A /christmas/ Invitation to /cow/ Toad 12/18/2021 (Sat) 02:25:29 ID: 88d103 No.127690 [Reply]
Evening /cow/, how's it going? There's going to be music and games tomorrow if you would like to stop by. Feel free to make a thread if you would like as well! It's going to be a fun time starting in about 14ish hours! Technical details: >There will be a Christmas radio on anon.cafe/christmas featuring music (Christmas and non-Christmas) from prolikewoah/animu, smuglo.li (probably, working out the details with that DJ), and anon.cafe/l >Music stream will happen on the 18th of December from 9AM Saturday American West Coast to roughly 9PM or later (5PM Saturday to 5AM Sunday GMT/UTC, or 2AM Sunday to 2PM Tokyo time) >There will be a separate games thread for anons who want to play games, with servers and hosts edited into the OP since the goal is for anons to socialize and enjoy themselves- OJ, EDF, and Veloren are probably on the books right now. >You can make your own lobbies for the games thread without being tied to a board, but it's a good chance to advertise your board >Feel free to make an advertising thread promoting your board. If you want to have a fun activity attached, that is also welcome!
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lol zoomers

#GamerGoyim + Ni/gg/er Thread [cake/v/ + /gg/]: "pedophilia is just like basic biology bro trust me" Edition Toad 05/10/2021 (Mon) 09:40:06 ID: 113fc0 No.102181 [Reply] [Last]
This thread is a place for a complete dedicated discussion of the #S​ARGON general from the remnants of 8chan's /v/, otherwise known as cake/v/, the thread has a history of discussing anything but a 7-year-old dead movement attacking a strong woman and mostly prefers to be a /pol/-lite mixed with discussion of why furfaggotry and pedophilia are actually totally based and something an oldfag would endorse! The #S​ARGON thread is a walking contradiction, whether it is the fact that they claim to be oldfags despite the fact that they are clearly redditors that latched onto 8chan for a semblance of the lack of culture they so desperately crave, and hence their obsession/attachment to old gamergay related memes such as vivian and the exodus from 4chan, claim to hate kikes one minute but use a board run by a jew and claim he is /ourkike/ the next, or just the simple fact that during #gamergay they constantly talked about how it wasn't really a natzee movement run by manhaters while posting how much they hated queen anita, there is something truly fascinating about these subhuman pedophile oldfag larpers. It is to say that these subhumans in all their time posting about the same fucking shit for so long have never changed and have forever remained as redditors trying so desperately to fit in with anons, the only thing they successfully adopted was the massive cope that pedos on image boards and websites all around the internet have used to justify their disgusting want to molest innocent children. I think it is fine time that >we finally had a new thread that discussed the ni/gg/ers, even though /cow/ has been a zombie board dedicated to the exclusive discussion of jcaesar187 and jcaesar187 related individuals for almost 3 years chuckles for some reason >we live so rent-free in these pedos heads that whenever something happens to their little hugbox they blame >us. The fact is these pedophile faggots are an endless supply of julay that keeps on giving, their autistic statements never cease to amaze me, it is time that instead of simply lurking the thread I shared the autism with the rest of you 5 autists here and had a little of fun for once just like old fag times. gaytor As of now acidfed and mark mann the pedophiles have begun to openly allow pedophiles to discuss their wanting to fuck little girls on blacked.gov, otherwise known as markchan, cakechan, 8blacked, or marks personal pedo haven. >We know that they allow said discussion bickers they themselves are pedophiles. Ni/gg/ers, have shockingly come out in support of pedophilia, I know shocking! It isn't as if 7 years of their thread hasn't already shown how much they want to fuck little kids and proven queen antia and zoe right about #gamergay. Apparently the king slaphead directly contacted mark and has supposedly convinced him to remove the board, but I don't think that has happened as of yet and the cp spam is still pretty intense over there right now. Recent ni/gg/er thread where they were having their meltdown: https://archive.is/zsOGa /cow/ was being blamed for everything as "/cow/ are duh reeeel pedos bro!" Another little bonus is that known pedophile john barnhill was totally not shilling himself on the thread as well. Credit to the anons in this thread here for most of the images I have now plus alerting me of their recent meltdowns in the first place, ni/gg/ers are still running damage control there right now! https://tvch.moe/dunk/res/45327.html https://archive.is/o40FT Cake/v/'s current main address:

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>>102453 I knew you guys were autistic but lol >what is dis anti saying Go put a lodge up your ass honestly, it all just deserves to be mocked Fucking hell I haven't chuckled this much in a while
>>102456 >da normalfagerino Stop it you sad cunt
>>102456 >da normalfagerino Stop it you sad cunt
>>126400 Honestly it looks even more pathetic than 8ch.net was >>108781 >hat's some other random who has been complaining about the quality of their shitty site Heh, though what do you honestly expect on a site where you can say anything and it’s hard to take anything seriously. Everyone has a limit when it comes that sort of stuff. >the wojak guy is just the autistic kid shitting all over the place to complete the picture Who? Though honestly it deserves to get shat on. >>108772 >that whole image Imagine, God this website has very dumb lore, even shittier than 8ch.net but man it is quite funny, I had fun pissing around on /b/ many months back burning time.
>>115460 >to decide what the future or legacy of image boards are. So you'd rather destroy the legacy of imageboards Legacy of my dick shut the fuck up man, do you seriously and I mean seriously believe the shit you write. Like seriously would you honestly and openly talk about this stuff in real life

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Toad 12/17/2021 (Fri) 15:12:57 ID: a01ec8 No.127642 [Reply]
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL take a look at this paedo (?) i found on gbatemp, where lots of kids/teens who like pokemon and nintendo gather up on (most male, I presume). https://gbatemp.net/members/ancientboi.549880/ > archive dot md slash BSjI7 He keeps posting about how he's 'nakey' and sad that his boyfriend died. This shit is all on his public profile and he has kids reply to him as if he's their friend. complete paedo behaviour. Also, his tag (or wtv) is: Gay Warlord · 64 64 is presumably his age, likely even older. Highlights: >[wishing I could go outside n drink my COFFEE nakey on the front porch, but It's a heavy rainstorm here today. 20 mph winds to boot] Yuck >My god, I gotta stop being a cry baby, and get back into LIFE. So here goes, Hi people! >FUQ! Fuq! Fuq! Fuq! Hospital just called, saying my BF just won't wake up. I'm sad as chit right now! Fuq! >Sad today. BF is unresponsive n sent to hospital from nursing home. FUQ! >Have to go see my BF today. They moved him to another nursing home. [sad]

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I don't get it, where are the cocks
its a zoomer troll just like u

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Channel Autism Anonymous 11/02/2019 (Sat) 21:46:51 ID: ea2451 No.16071 [Reply] [Last]
What happened to the alumni?

Also a reminder that Latza is now more successful than any of them.
154 posts and 57 images omitted.
>>127515 he didn't stop, the X-2 review is forever in the review queue :^)
>>127516 That queue is left in the house that he lost. Can't review games living in a homeless shelter.
that good picture of spoony is actually after he moved into his new place there's actually three arches to the spoon bickers he dunked on final fantasy three times and in his later review he cross dresses in so
>>127522 you mean his old place now
>>127523 indeed

Ashton Parks, the obese Mister Metokur fanboy and Christian larper Anonymous 05/29/2020 (Fri) 03:04:24 No.58308 [Reply] [Last]
Ashton Parks is an obese canadian who first tried to gain online fame as a conservative zoomer, after failing to get attention that way he tried to focus on internet drama and get attention by attacking low hang fruits like jcaesar187 on Stream.me and then on Youtube on his channel PeoplesPopularPress. Being an obese hypocrite and ironybro he show up his own butthole on a live stream to trying to get more attention of jcaesar187 and his haters. Since then he is trying to use /cow/ culture and people invested on all this drama to get views and constantly brag about his numbers and having fans who love him for being an obese tard with a High vocabulary. Oddly enough, he never miss an opportunity to hold attention and make friends with other e-celebs, including extreme left wing figures like Kraut n Tea and not whites scammers like Coach Red Pill and Josh Moon, [all threed are jews], which seems strange from a right-wing white nationalist.
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Since he started to e-date the whore he's being more and more weak, without spirit and flame and shilling for lefty-wing shit like the vaccine.
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Why does Toad McKinley fear the Daimyo so much? He won't even debate him
>>125475 Same happened with me, Гунтopia (Zachfag/Weasel) and ofc JMK. The fat Canadian only go after low hanging fruits. And do his best to obscure any alogs who in fact can hurt his "popularity" among foxdickfarms.
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WolfSpider (pedophile and simp for trannies and twinks) is butthurt about P P P getting egirls giving him gifts, while him, the ugly and fat manlet brit, need to pay to trannies to show him nudes
>>58308 >>77087 i didn't know twinks could be fat...

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New lolcow found on cuckchan's /k/ aka Schizo-kun Toad 11/05/2021 (Fri) 03:26:08 No.123836 [Reply]
Sups faggots, I found a potential lolcow that's ready for julaying whilst dicking around on 4/k/uck. This faggot's meltdowns are lulzy as fuck and there's even a fucking archive of this sperg's emotional meltdowns of epic proportions going back to 2020, each time he's reminded of his urine soaked sheets. From death threats to spamming gore to even repeating the same lines like a broken record, this G​AMERGATE's autism is beautiful and should be known to the rest of the internet. He is also a self-admitted newfag and says he is 22 years old. Our mentally ill edgepilled friend seems to enjoy living in absolute filth and has a weird obsession with troons and faggots, but doesn't like being reminded of it. He's also a stimmy collecting chimp. >https://desuarchive.org/k/search/subject/Poorfag%20General/ You can also find him sperging out in /gq/ and /arq/, inquire in the archive for more lulz. How to summon him >use one of the attached images and use it as the OP pic when you make a thread, be sure to put in "Poorfag General" as the topic. >he will proceed to call you a tranny, etc and spam gore/death threats. >buckle thy fuckles for lulz shall commence Common Names >Pissy Pablo >Bed Wetting Willy >Pisser Parker >Alex Aspergers >Petey Piss Sheets >Yuri the Urinator >William the Wizzer

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Can someone bait him again?
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Kek this guy's great. Danke schön OP, today you weren't a fag.
Let's see if he comes to us.
this guy seems pretty based
>>126850 >having cartoonish outbursts over banter >based shiggy diggy

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Nastassia Ponomarenko Anonymous 10/06/2019 (Sun) 09:06:57 ID: 656597 No.10914 [Reply] [Last]
YouTuber Exposes Nastassia Ponomarenko sextape and gets harassed by fans!

https://m.spankbang.com/2tdk8/video/00100111100
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Hey Nastassiafag what the fuck is your deal? What is with your schizo ramblings? Do they have a reason to even exist? They seem like nothing more than a mix of literal schizophrenic rants and an odd obsession with this coalburning whore.
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>>126460 Your probably just mad bickers your under FBI surveillance cause you were reported by a CIA asset, now they watch your every move, Pedophile.

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