Reposting from 8kun's /cow/:
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>Ayo it's ya boi Polyphemus, cyclopean abomination and bastard spawn of Cthulhu and Hermaphroditus, formerly known as Yakub the critically acclaimed scientist and part-time über guru, referred to in some circles as Touchstone the Clown, and also known as ser heroin biceps AKA Elmo the Snow Queen AKA Julius Ebola AKA Jean Rimbaud AKA Julian the Prostate AKA the immaculately conceived love-child of a naked mole rat and a naked mall rat AKA the Piero Scaruffi of this anime game AKA Heraclitorus AKA Angus Dei AKA Zombie Jesus AKA that one guy who brushes his teeth with orange juice AKA the cool aids man AKA Fidel Castrato AKA an intersectional fascist AKA your goldfish's worst wet dream AKA your little sister's best nightmare AKA your great aunt Helga's premier sexual fantasy AKA that dude who be elbow deep in yer mommy's pancake batter. I be steady wading through ya grandmammy's porridge. What is happening.
>I've been hatching vain empires in the darkness since the womb. What have you done with your life?
>I don't like the animes bickers they are a part of a vast Oriental conspiracy to control Western youth and lead them into degeneracy. They weaken the minds of our allies, and embolden our enemies.
>With USURA hath no man a 2D waifu!
>I don't know if/when I'll get around to writing more reviews, but I have a podcast now, so you can get the same cocks there.
>I'm absurdly busy. Literally, it is absurd how busy I am. My autobiography will be laToad McKinleyd as a seminal work in the burgeoning genre of hyper-post-postmodern absurdist metafictional auto-hagiography. (If only bickers of the vast quantities of semen involved.) Anyway, if I don't reply to your message or whatever in a timely fashion then that is why.
>I have good opinions on shit and stuff, as well as some things and many other things. Come the fuck at me.
>Loli penis (and penis in general, really)
>Vampires (only the sparkly ones)
>Semen (the ones on the boats)
>Pain (not the naruto guy; fuck naruto)
>Extremely bad puns
>that gay shit
>Breasts above washboard size
>The word "hipster"
>Breasts smaller than watermelons
>Emoticons (except ;-;)
>Moderately bad puns
>My pretty face (okay, it's not that pretty, but it's pretty pretty)
>My edginess (that I cut myself with, as I cry tears of blood)
>Muh dick (it's actually really impressive)
>Being called an "elitist" (only if there are elitists who aren't elite)
>Being called "pretentious" (wtf does that even mean)
>Being called a "hipster" (wtf does that even mean)
>Being called a "troll" (wtf does that even mean)
>Malnutrition and fatigue
>Scantily clad women (please just fucking kill me, I can't take it)
>Love (wtf does that even mean)
>My inability to vocalize falsehoods (I write them down a lot tho)
>Hobby: Collecting dust
>Height: Just close enough to 6 ft. for people to believe that I am.
>Weight: Approximately 1.62 starving African children
>Cup Size: 8.45 U.S. customary fluid ounces
>Penis Length: N/A
>Penis Girth: ∞
>Blood Type: XXX
>Political Views: Far-right of right
>Power level: Over nine-thousandths
>Dimensions of Being: 12
>Favorite Shakespeare Quote: "For in that sleep of death, wet dreams may come"
>Favorite Food: Your mother's tears (at what viscosity does a liquid become a food anyhow)
>Mai waifu: Rape horse from berserk (y'all don't know shit bout that life)
His twitter is suspended.
He has a soundcloud with "sissy hypnosis" and "femboy interToad McKinleyon".
He's read a shitload of manga, but hasn't logged into his anime/manga account since September 28th.
Booking date: 9/29/20 He got arrested and probably lost his phone.
Now he wants to buy a computer, preferably using other peoples' hard-earned money.