/sw/ - Star Wars

The Empire did nothing wrong

LynxChan updated to 2.5.7, let me know whether there are any issues (admin at j dot w).

Reports of my death have been greatly overestimiste.

Still trying to get done with some IRL work, but should be able to update some stuff soon.


Max message length: 6144

Drag files to upload or
click here to select them

Maximum 5 files / Maximum size: 20.00 MB


(used to delete files and postings)

We moved. https://anon.cafe/sw/

Open file (20.05 KB 161x313 thispleasesmeslate.jpg)
Stormtrooper 04/20/2020 (Mon) 07:19:32 No.2858 [Reply]
http://archive.vn/swVUC Disney takes out 6 billion in new debt http://archive.vn/uXDVn Disney is losing 30 million every day 60 days of lockdown=Disney loses 1.8 billion. Even if the parks are closed for just 60 days, people avoiding crowded spaces (not to mention lack of disposable income to attend) is going to last much longer.
3 posts omitted.
>>2862 >>2863 >bankruptcy Bankruptcy doesn't mean that the company goes away (unfortunately), it just means they have time to liquidate assets to sort out debts. However, this blow and the Great Depression that's sure to follow might have a cascading effect where no amount of government bailout money will pull them out of the hole.
We should probably make a shitsney hate general. The board's starting to look like that's all that gets discussed about star wars.
>>2865 There's not much else to do since there's no new EU content other than Supernatural Encounters and Disney's new content sucks. All we can do is talk fanfiction in Separatist Canon, SW:TOR, discuss old topics and maybe mods in games. Fan communities are a bust to since they all broke up or went off to slob Mickey's knob.
P to piss on yidsney.
Open file (551.34 KB 1082x903 shitting on the mouse.png)

Open file (912.90 KB 3432x3417 Gar-Gar.png)
Stormtrooper 04/01/2020 (Wed) 10:01:31 No.2794 [Reply]
Where will you be, when the cat reveals himself?
3 posts and 2 images omitted.
>>2841 Not as much as how much gibs are needed to power a nigger.
>>2841 Enough to create a galaxy-wide shortage and kickstart the Great Lasagna war.
[Rogue Squadron narrator] The GAR-GAR is the backbone of the Imperial Army's food supply corps. It can deliver over 20,000 boxes of frozen lasagna to Imperial troops on the front lines. But despite its role as a transport, the GAR-GAR still has powerful defenses including 2 heavy industrial firefighting hoses that spill lots of spaghetti all over the Empire's enemies. There are reports of Rebel tanks being disabled after having their cannons and drive systems clogged with the GAR-GAR's foodstuffs. It also has the unusual ability to attack by sitting on enemy units. When the GAR-GAR's designer was captured by Rebel commandos and questioned as to his peculiar design ethic, he replied only by devouring his entire meal in one bite and saying "That'll show Odie who's boss." [/Rogue Squadron narrator]
>>2851 Odie where are you when we need you?

Stormtrooper 03/11/2020 (Wed) 03:33:39 No.2720 [Reply]
If you could visit any planet from Star Wars, what would it be? Mine would be Mandalore so I could finally join the Mando way then kill and chill with the bruddas
10 posts and 3 images omitted.
Dantooine. Mild weather, quite, peaceful, beautiful.
Open file (1.47 MB 1392x1296 Tatooine Palaces.png)
Every time I ask this question anywhere else, the answer is always the same "Tatooine". Seriously, aside from podracing what is the joy of going to such a barren shit hole? Murderous sand niggos, thieving little jawa rats, hutts and whiphids ruling the planet with a criminal iron fist, hot as Hell, nothing to do except racing and needlessly pulling daredevil shit because the inhabitants secretly want to die, filled with giant fucking dragons, monstrous sand plants that will keep you alive and digest you for a 1000 years, and even the colder underground is inhabited by naked creeps and angry molemen. Why would anyone want to go to the planet that every character from there, except Owen, wants to desperately leave?
>>2838 Also the Bomarr Monks. Don't get me started on the Bomarr monks.
Dac/Mon Cala would probably be an interesting place to visit, assuming you had the funds for a proper sub/were of some aquatic species and could get past the impending threat of global race war that always seems to be brewing. Sure, they're apparently great at opera- but just imagine what millennia of underwater civilization looks like!
Obroa-Skai. I would love to see what library in this world looks like, maybe they even have a rare book collection.

Stormtrooper 10/02/2019 (Wed) 09:15:12 No.27 [Reply]
Shops are open for business

31 posts and 25 images omitted.
>>27 One order of Calamari, mashed juban root, and a Twi’lek waifu who will love me and be gentle to me until I die. Or just a Corellian ale.
>>27 Cup of joe and a ham sandwich please.
>>2481 >Corellian ale In a clean glass.
>>2497 CoreIlian als in a clean ass please.
Uhhhh, I'll take the Sheevros Davros + Sheev combo meal to go, please.

Unpopular Opinion Thread Stormtrooper 12/24/2019 (Tue) 03:28:37 No.1253 [Reply] [Last]
I'll start, there is literally nothing wrong with Ewoks
85 posts and 12 images omitted.
>>2384 I'm pretty sure that's what George meant by it, too.
>>1608 >Don't mess with an archeologist in a "spooky ol ruin" <An archelogist actually calling a site a "spooky ruin" Ancient History studies here: No self-respecting archaeologist uses such unscientific words unless they're posing for the camera, reading off a script for a documentary/movie, its habitually discouraged. Also >Takes down Vader without him being able to do shit or speak coherently <Old Canon has him lose his respirator to damage and still beat his opponent. This is worse than that kid who reprogrammed the ED-209 in Robocop 3 in less than 5 minutes. Lastly A) His cybernetics consist of metal prosthetics - no internet or other "hacking" applicable B) His respirator - essentially a normal hospital system (the inspiration for his iconic breathing) made super-compact and durable - no internet or hacking applicable C) His Helmet/Mask which enhanced his sensory abilities similar to the Stormtrooper helms. There is likely a computer system there that connects to his other parts but judging from what I've seen you can't really hack into it, since its not directly uplinked to anything. All in all, this dumb bitch shouldn't have been able to hack into anything. At least with Vader's suit-maker that guy had access to kill-switches and shit, but that didn't work out all too well either. His agony and sheer anger from being used like this should have given Vader, one of the most powerful Sith Lords, the will to crush her on the spot seeing how it let Darth Maul survive being bisected. I can only hope that they can redeem this by having a "got ya bitch" moment, where he reveals to have been playing along - and then kills her when she no longer is useful. Fuck me, even the Godzilla animated series from 1998 was smart enough to not have Randy hack into robotics that have no computer or internet parts in them unless he was directly plugged in.
>>1614 >that cave has something to disable the force Compare this idiocy to the fact that the comics of Lucas prequels explained that the Jedi built their temple on top of a Sith temple and it clouded their vision, helping Palpatine hide himself. THAT made a modicum of sense unlike "Super special cave from fuck knows where can turn off the force... which flows through all things and isn't just some energy that can be turned off forcibly.
>>2356 >This arc falls flat on its face when any Force user could best Luke, simply because he is the borne Übermensch with high Midichlorian levels Except, as demonstrated within the prequels, midichlorian levels are just arbitrary power-wells. How you use it, the skill you have and more importantly the intent, is what gives someone an upper hand.
>>2795 >Godzilla cartoon from 1998 I'm surprised people still remember that one. I remember when Randy was able to hack into a nuclear power plant. You can get rid of this if you think it's too distracting from the thread.

Open file (26.11 KB 200x350 Rodian_with_jacket.JPG)
Best star wars character 03/28/2020 (Sat) 23:04:27 No.2786 [Reply]
Who was the best Star wars character and why was it unidentified rodian with jacket?
He was a blessing.
>>2786 Because he had better written dialog then all three of disney's fanfiction combined.

Jar Jar Abrams admits movie ''still'' not complete Stormtrooper 11/26/2019 (Tue) 02:32:03 No.470 [Reply]

>Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker director J.J. Abrams is in a dash to the finish line. The final movie in the hit franchise is due out in a few weeks, yet Abrams recently revealed that the film is still undergoing edits — and his team is racing to get it done on time. So how does Abrams feel about his chances of getting the movie done in time for its Dec. 20th release?

If 70, it will be worse than TLJ
10 posts and 2 images omitted.
okay paul feig
I'll do you one better. They try now?!
>kikes trying to revise history
Who would have guessed?

>hey do you get the joke
>hey do you get the joke
>hey do you get the joke yet
Behold the brilliant writing of one (((hollywood's))) favorite child predators.
>>475 If they wanted such a comment in the OT I'd imagine it like this: Luke: >I didn't know Stormtroopers could fly! Han (annoyed and sarcastic at the new development but unwilling to show his own surprise): >Of course they do... Even cheesy shit like that would be better
>>2785 All they had to do is 1.Bring Luke back (remember in TLJ robot hand vanished, easier to explain than emperor clone) 2.Have Luke fight the emperor & "Sith cultists" 3.Have marysue back him up & fight kylo 4.Have most of the movie center around Luke & sue 5.More interaction between Ren, the emperor, cultitsts/knights of ren. 6.Profit It doesn't fix the other 2 movies or the over arching problem that this trilogy is completely unnecessary but it would be passable enough to watch & enslave consumerist normies for decades.

Open file (251.27 KB 704x838 Cardan I.jpg)
Stormtrooper 02/06/2020 (Thu) 20:21:01 No.2450 [Reply]
Station ready.
7 posts and 2 images omitted.
Open file (118.23 KB 1242x1499 g7piitkcpez01.jpg)

Open file (50.36 KB 843x1023 LOLISOKA 02.jpg)
Open file (120.17 KB 268x500 LOLISOKA.jpg)
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT Stormtrooper 11/05/2019 (Tue) 23:21:02 No.355 [Reply]
Do you shitpost on 4chan? Do you go to reddit/twatter/fagbook/other normalfag sites?
Of course you fucking don't, none of us are big enough faggots to go to those and admit it here, this dead bunker is more than sufficient for our SW shitposting needs.

But I AM a total faggot & have been hanging out on 4/tv/ lately because most alts are hilariously faggot ridden shitholes run by ACF trannies & 4chan is ironically far less faggoty than that bullshit.

Anyway, the point. I've noticed something. LOT of fucking SW threads. Not even TROS threads, just every type of general SW thread you can think of, some even calling Yidsney out for bullshit, most of which the OP sits around & constantly bumps with some numbered images from some shitposting folder.

Being the totally lifeless faggot that I am hanging around 4/tv/ & such, I hang out in a lot of these threads. In one of them, I made a shitpost about Loli Ahsoka & how hot she was, and a funny fucking thing happened: the fucking OP bumping IMMEDIATELY STOPPED and the thread got real quiet before dying to archive.

It got me thinking. These threads are all a last ditch effort from Yidsney marketers to help out TROS's box office by getting us to fucking talk about ANYTHING SW related, in the hopes some of us would lose resolve & go give them ticket money. And pointing out & talking about how sexy their canon loli padawan character is was probably the sole subject that wouldn't help TROS's box office at all, without also "hurting" their image in their minds.

I mean we can call them out on their bullshit all day & if it leaches into the normiesphere they've got a thousand ways to deflect it back on misogynist racist incel trolls, like they have been for years.

But if the normiesphere starts jumping on the sexualization of a minor age character they didn't see as a problem, who actually kind of fit into their overall stronk womerns narrative...

Save your boards. Save your threads.
Post Lolisokas & make the shills flee. It works.
21 posts and 12 images omitted.
Did Ashoka ever take a bath?
>>2569 >wookies can live for up to 400 years Wait, what the fuck? How can they live that long with the trandoshans being constantly at war with them?
>>2592 That's how long they can live, hell Chewie was like 160 during ANH
>>362 Kind of surprised she would wear panties over her leggings.
>>2592 They can live that long but that doesn't mean all of them do. Just like humans can live 80+ years but those that live on a wartorn planet will probably live much shorter.

Bob Iger is out! Stormtrooper 02/25/2020 (Tue) 22:31:45 No.2634 [Reply]
http://archive.ph/wip/lRKaH He's being replaced by "Bob Chapek". All I can find is his official bio which states he was previously in charge of parks. http://archive.ph/wip/HLDpg Any info on him?
He doesn't look like a Jew, so he's already much better than (((Iger))) and (((Eisner))).
Praise be to custom search ranges! Thought Galaxy's Edge was a failure http://archive.ph/wip/DcXSQ Got sorta promoted when people got axed for Galaxy's Edge failing http://archive.ph/er3ds Responsible for spamming merch of sucessful products. https://web.archive.org/web/20180301122500/http://www.thedisneymoviereview.com/problem-bob-chapek-disney-ceo/ Also don't expect his comments on park tech to be relevent here, but the lack of stuff I'm finding on him means I'll include this anyways http://archive.ph/cFsgq
>>2634 Why is Iger staying until the end of 2021? Anyone got an idea of what he's making sure gets finished on his watch? I mean I would have figured he'd be out of the CEO seat before second quarter ended, not getting another year and a half.
>>2634 >Bob Iger is out! >smug laugh Iger will just have to laze around his mansion or one of his vacation homes and find a way to spend his vast fortune that normal people could live their entire lives on a small fraction of. Totally a win. >Bob Chapek Someone who will allow the exact same shit to happen.
>>2634 Bob Chapek is a cheapskate and he's already making some cutbacks. This will prove interesting. Hopefully Disney will get downsized. Stupid fuckers had it coming. >>2653 We know Iger will never get his comeuppance (unless he committed tax fraud or something) but the point here is that Iger going out is a sign of Disney's own destabilization and slow decay. So, Iger will sadly not get fucked, but Disney as a whole along with their reputation and that of Iger's is likely smeared forever.

Report/Delete/Moderation Forms

no cookies?