/sw/ - Star Wars

The Empire did nothing wrong

LynxChan updated to 2.5.7, let me know whether there are any issues (admin at j dot w).


Reports of my death have been greatly overestimiste.

Still trying to get done with some IRL work, but should be able to update some stuff soon.

#WEALWAYSWIN

Max message length: 6144

Drag files to upload or
click here to select them

Maximum 5 files / Maximum size: 20.00 MB

More

(used to delete files and postings)


We moved. https://anon.cafe/sw/


Open file (809.82 KB 705x729 slaverey.png)
Chaste Wars Stormtrooper 10/24/2019 (Thu) 23:14:55 No.203 [Reply]
I was just thinking about how sterile the sequel trilogy has been. It's like any form of romance or adult interaction has been removed or Disneyfied. Even the Finn/Rose "romance" in The Last Jedi felt forced and cringeworthy with an utter lack of chemistry. Look at Rey especially, she is played by an attractive actress inb4 xenomorph memes but we never really see her as a woman. Even on a desert planet, she is near fully covered, as if they were scared having Rey bare any skin would send the wrong message. She never flirts with any of her male cohorts despite being a young woman trapped on a barren shitheap for decades.

I know the inevitable response for anything like this is "but it's for kids!" or "misogyny!" but Leia's slave outfit or Padme's mid-riff and the romantic sub-plots of both trilogies didn't make those films any less family friendly or weaken it's female characters. It really just seems like Disney trying to sanitise the franchise to fit their "wholesome image". The most risque they've gone so far was Qira and Han in Solo, but for a grimy underworld story it still feels very tame and safe, though Emilia Clarke admittedly did look very elegant.

I would just chalk this up to me being a cumbrain but there's a wealth of normalfags "shipping" characters, especially "Reylo". People want romance and some eye candy in their adventure movies, to the point that they will just make their own if it's not being offered. What do you guys think? Am I on to something or am I being ridiculous?
14 posts and 4 images omitted.
>>1829 They should have just gone fulldegenerate and do a Nigger x Pilotdude gay ending like some people assumed. Then again, they wouldn't be able to edit that out which would mean less/no profit in some countries and they'd never risk their profit is such an obvious way. Why are some anons here so incompetent at formatting their posts?
>>1829 Did they really want to pander with China with Rose Tico in Last Jedi? Considering >she gets BLACKED in that movie >she's played by a vietnam fucking shits
Open file (241.50 KB 456x433 HOLY FUCK.png)
>Rey >played by an attractive actress
>>218 >Not sure I buy the Finn/Rey theory. Most of that stuff was just /pol/ seeing what they wanted to see before TFA had even released. >TFA was obviously setting finndu nuffin' to want to fuck mary sue >mary sue's name is ray mixer >movie is written and directed by a kike >made in hollywood >just /pol/ seeing what they wanted Come on now.
Speaking of sterile, is it just me or are Rey's breasts flatter than usual? She looks more like a dude this time around than before.

Open file (624.04 KB 2047x1221 sw.jpg)
Toys Stormtrooper 12/12/2019 (Thu) 15:42:19 No.675 [Reply]
Anyone into the toy aspect of Star Wars? Disney shit is clogging shelves so badly, its unbelievable that Star Wars toys made 2-3 years ago would ever clog shelves yet here we are. The few cool toys are quickly picked up by scalpers and listed for extortionate prices.
1 post omitted.
Since this is the best place to ask for it, what was the best line of figures that were released? Just want to keep it in mind in case I find any second hand.
>>1532 As far as I remember, it was either the prequel-era figures or the stuff hasbro put out right before the buyout/sequel trilogy. It seems the quality has been going back to those levels recently though.
>>1532 >Since this is the best place to ask for it Probably best to ask over on /toy/ instead. They even have a star wars toy thread
I haven't collected anything since 2013. Only thing I bought in the crappy Disney era was a Black Series Jaina Solo figure which honestly wasn't even that great. The re-releases of the old Kenner toys would be temping if not for the Disney logo on them keeping me from being able to pass them off as originals. I mean with a little fixing I could make them look like the real deal, but its just too much work to go through just for some pointless bragging rights.
Open file (1.69 MB 3793x3328 IMG_2247 edit.jpg)
Nice to see this thread is getting some traction, but why not come post in the Star Wars toy thread on /toy/? https://prolikewoah.com/toy/res/186.html

Open file (246.01 KB 1200x900 1577920315155.jpg)
Stormtrooper 01/02/2020 (Thu) 00:09:46 No.1523 [Reply]
So since we are obviously the TOXIC fandom, here is an example of the new beautiful nu-fandom disney wanted, and got. I suggest that this thread may be a dump for all this kind of bullshit, just to have a laugh at the shitshow, since it's all we can mostly get out of what is officially called Star Wars now.
35 posts and 14 images omitted.
>>1707 Finn is such a wimpy character across the ST that I think people would call him comic relief if he were a droid or a white man. Since he's a nigger, though, they have to pretend he's this super serious and important character who does nothing of real consequence after TFA (and is outright prevented from doing so in TLJ).
>>1710 Out of all the characters in TFA he had perhaps the biggest room for character development. The idea of a man raised from birth to be a stormtrooper with years of brainwashing and indoctrination abandoning the very organisation that raised him and is the closest thing to a family, all while discovering his own place in the galaxy could've been so good. We could've finally seen Star Wars through the eyes of an average joe, which the previous 6 don't show.
>>1716 Just repeating what the entire internet already said: They could have at least tried to make him a character who's conflicted between fighting against his former comrades doing what he thinks is right. Instead they made him an insane chucklefuck that goes "wooohooooo!" while shooting the people he grew up with.
>>1674 Why? Dogs are carnivores, carnivore meat usually tastes pretty bad, hence why we pretty much exclusively eat herbivore meat. I’ve talked to a few hunters who’ve had bear meat and they all say it’s okay, but better the more fruits it ate. Why would you want to eat dog? I can’t imagine dog food makes the meat taste any better, even corn fed cattle tastes like shit compared to grass fed, and I’m sure that tastes better than any carnivore meat.
>>1717 They even retconned him to be a janitor too

Open file (93.09 KB 700x683 sadmachinegunmann.jpg)
Stormtrooper 12/09/2019 (Mon) 17:38:09 No.637 [Reply]
https://archive.md/SXeUF
>Palpatine wasn't actually the REAL governor of the Empire, it was a strong independent womyn
Enjoy
21 posts and 5 images omitted.
>>1199 Does his tactical genius still amount to "I discovered a weakness in my enemy that never existed before"?
>>1217 No. Now its "Hold on, let me take a look at this drawing. Okay, I can now read that dude's mind in real time. LITERALLY.".
Open file (50.25 KB 719x540 dessu.jpg)
>>1275 >posting nu-Dessler Faggot.
>>1278 That wasn't nu-Dessler. There's 20 years of OVAs between the first series and 2199.
Open file (2.98 MB 480x270 1369588666735.gif)

Open file (83.64 KB 960x540 yowza.jpg)
Stormtrooper 01/08/2020 (Wed) 15:03:16 No.1680 [Reply]
KOO NEE TANG! NA NA NA... AH LAWAH! KOO NEE TANG!
3 posts omitted.
>>1689 It was fucking annoying is what it was. Loud cacophony with ugly CGI.
there are some changes I like in theory, and others I don't. but my biggest problem with all Specialized changes is how they clash with the original aesthetic. the OT has an unmistakable late 70s/early 80s feel; adding 90s CGI on top of that inevitably comes off garish and wrong.
>>1681 >>1689 >>1690 >>1691 >>1697 na.. na.. na.. AH LAWAH! KOO NEE TANG!
>>1689 It's horrible. >>1690 It was a pretty mediocre scene in the theatrical version, but it was in the background and added to the atmosphere instead of being this ostentatious performance.
I only liked this because of Oola

Open file (78.29 KB 568x568 A-2l0IwCMAAGF-N.jpg)
Open file (1.77 MB 1209x892 wookiee cookies.png)
Merry Christmas and Happy Life Day Everyone Stormtrooper 12/25/2019 (Wed) 01:21:15 No.1294 [Reply]
So... has anyone here ever tried making wookiee cookies? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X-O_mn4aS8
Happy life day. I heard Jedi Fallen Order is actually good, I'm still not giving EA my monies. Just funny that EA is doing a better job at giving a SW story than disney.
>>1295 It was fine but the ending sucked, the characters except the inquisitor chicks are ugly as hell and game has Ilum destroyed and turned into Starkiller from The Force Awakens.
>>1298 > the characters except the inquisitor chicks are ugly as hell I noticed that, characters who are not aliens or have a mask on seems to suffer from weird CGI shiny pores syndrome and Oblivion grade potato faces.
>>1305 The wookiees are also ugly too. Their hair isn't even properly textured. Makes them look like they're made of wood with freaky eyes.
Jabba explains the LifeDay special. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oscbps596J4

Open file (615.45 KB 1876x1280 Reviews are in.png)
Stormtrooper 12/19/2019 (Thu) 15:48:44 No.854 [Reply]
STAR WARS IX IS OFFICIALLY THE WORST MOVIE EVER AND IT ONLY HAD A 20 MILLION OPENING! THAT'S THE BEST THEY COULD FUCKING DO!
9 posts and 4 images omitted.
>>854 It's going to make 400 million in it's opening weekend lol
>>1135 Domestically?
>>1135 The chinese numbers does not appear to be supporting that forecast.
$374m worldwide, only $176m domestically, for their opening weekend. Not good for them.
We live in a year where a Godzilla movie did better at the box office than a Star Wars movie

Open file (34.54 KB 720x552 1572383576378.jpg)
Star Wars IX Stormtrooper 12/13/2019 (Fri) 20:05:11 No.679 [Reply] [Last]
So it looks like the plot for IX was leaked on multiple sites and a lot of it was confirmed in recent trailers and a Burger King ad. There's currently a meltdown going on at Plebbit. There's a whole lot of negative reactions and social media insanity going on because of IX. I also just found out that even if the movie doesn't flop, Disney won't be able to recover their losses from this quarter which are currently near the bottom line. Discuss? How fucked is Disney's abomination?
191 posts and 58 images omitted.
>be me about 4 months ago >have a post typed in 8/sw/ TOR thread about some stuff >site goes down while attempting to post >doesn't come back up >no backup board, cytube won't load for me for some reason >go to vch >find out that the vch board was there after several weeks because it wasn't actually on the vch board list due to just up and deciding to go to the front page on a whim and finding recent /sw/ posts there when I usually skip directly to /v/ >by then I have lots of stuff to do at work and don't have enough hours in the day to post on imageboards >eventually go back and find that the vch board is gone >where the fuck am I supposed to go now >eventually hear about julay >come here >Disney's latest faggot abomination is out now >rofl if anybody is actually paying to see this crap >spoilers are even shittier than I thought they'd be >movie is basically Rey stealing the entire history of the franchise after it was previously burned down >Jim still can't manage to get his rickety pig farm stable enough to actually post on despite having ostensibly been up for over a month

Message too long. Click here to view full text.

>>1087 >refound /sw/ just in time to be exposed to the cancer in movie form that is the ruse of soywoker I'm so sorry anon.
Open file (54.63 KB 771x844 ClipboardImage.png)
>>1027 Real persons can tell a good end to a saga when they see one, after all.
>>1084 >>1085 This is pretty transparent retardation, anon.
>>767 Too obvious.

Stormtrooper 12/23/2019 (Mon) 11:21:35 No.1193 [Reply]
I saw a few episodes of That 70s Show where Eric becomes a Star Wars fanboy after seeing it in 1977. One thing I found interesting was, when talking about Star Wars with his father, Eric refers to Darth Vader as a Sith Lord. Where might he have learned this term back in 1977? I don't recall the mainline movies ever using the term in the theatrical cuts, and the first time I ever heard it mentioned was in the Phantom Menace. Did he read some expanded universe material? Was there any published Star Wars work in the 70s that mentioned the Sith? All the expanded universe material I know from back then mentions "Dark Jedi" but not the Sith. Was this just an oversight by the writers of That 70s Show?
1 post omitted.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was just an oversight since That 70's Show was written by people who knew of SW as it was in the 90's and 00's, not the 70's.
Open file (130.64 KB 960x720 n9yr8wk29f5z.jpg)
>>1193 Even worse was Eric's collection of Star Wars toys. This is in 1978 and he somehow has a Yoda and Palpatine figure. Was Eric a time traveler? Did he break into George Lucas' mansion and steal them not knowing what they were? >>1207 It kind of sucks, because Eric's entire Star Wars dream sequence is clearly from the perspective of someone who's only seen the first movie. A love triangle between Luke, Leia, and Darth Vader is not something anyone would imagine after Empire Strikes Back unless they had an incest fetish. So you can tell they at least tried, but fell short with some small oversights. Ultimately forgivable, but still needs to be nitpicked.
>>1193 The show had a lot of inconsistencies. Most episodes even had him knowing or owning shit that shouldn't even exist yet, and it wasn't just exclusive to SW.
I was honestly never that fond of the show. Unlike Happy Days it seemed to be too self-aware and often came across as too much parody. Parody is fine, but having the characters believe in the setting they exist in would be nice. But none of it really matters considering how awful the final seasons were.
>>1224 >But none of it really matters considering how awful the final seasons were. Was there more than one season after Eric "left?"

Open file (244.14 KB 1174x782 ranking.png)
Stormtrooper 12/22/2019 (Sun) 07:14:06 No.1137 [Reply]
What did he mean by this??
>>1137 Gotta love how the OT and even the Prequels are immediately recognizable based on their posters, and yet TFA and IX are virtually indistinguishable and look entirely generic.
>>1137 >a dick and morto avatar He's trying to tell everyone he's retarded.
"I have profoundly shit taste."
>>1137 Let me translate: >"I suck cocks and have no shame".

Report/Delete/Moderation Forms
Delete
Report

no cookies?