/sw/ - Star Wars

The Empire did nothing wrong

LynxChan updated to 2.5.7, let me know whether there are any issues (admin at j dot w).


Reports of my death have been greatly overestimiste.

Still trying to get done with some IRL work, but should be able to update some stuff soon.

#WEALWAYSWIN

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Stormtrooper 02/14/2021 (Sun) 15:25:18 No.4091 [Reply]
>Well in George, George couldn't stand Mara Jade, well he just couldn't stand, couldn't deal and they went out and got some sort of person who looked like she'd stepped out of a Cosmopolitan to be the model Mara and he just thought the whole thing was so not Star Wars and not his vision of Star Wars and once, I forget, I think Sue Rostoni between the novels told me or anyway told me they were killing off Mara Jade and I said 'Do I get to tell George?' - J.W. Rinzler https://youtu.be/B9p6naiDwzQ?t=2085
>George Kojima Rather fitting.
>>4092 And why is that?

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Stormtrooper 02/06/2021 (Sat) 21:19:09 No.4064 [Reply]
YOU'RE INVITED! to the sporting event of the year! at sportschan! please see your attached invitation
>>4064 I love me some sports ball

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ROR 2.0 Stormtrooper 09/29/2020 (Tue) 04:03:57 No.3645 [Reply]
Hey pals, I'm back. The click's ticking for me and my chances to write are measured in months, so I'm gonna be delivering the shit I promised for once.
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One thing I've also been looking into is different metals for Star Wars. Plasteel's a common name for sci-fi materials, it's got plastic (sci-fi!) AND steel (metal) in its name so it's a go-to bullshit name for any low-grade material retards want to slap in their setting. (Except in SS13, it's pretty good there because it has nothing to do with plastic) In KOTOR there's a few billion shitty no good cylinders that break if you breath to hard on them and these are your ubiquitous low-end loot treasure trash troves called Plasteel Cylinders. They're everywhere and everyone likes to put their garbage in them. But like in Pathalogic, sometimes there's gold in these dumpsters! (In KOTOR it's grenades) Plasteel is a cheap readily available material in Star Wars, it's a steel-plastic hybrid. A mix of iron and polymer powders typically compressed into shapes, plasteel's not gonna stop a blaster bolt but it will make a competent enough barrel for your garbage. And after you compress it you can re-smelt it into whatever else you fucking want, it's a hunk of plasteel after compression and a little bit of melting isn't gonna transform it back into powder or liquid goop. (A LOT of melting will cause the latter to occur)
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Next up is actually a cultural/species specific metal, dubbed Quadranium by Republic researchers the gold-brass-bronze (depends on the processing, tempered Quadranium is known to be more yellowy than your average orange-bronze ingot) a marvel of Zabrak metallurgy that they're awfully fucking proud of, Quadranium is cool. One of the most robust and capable alloys in the galaxy, Quadranium (quad because of the 4 elements Zabrak metallurgists use to create it) can be used for everything from construction to blasters to blades and excel in each. The zabrak have been making armor and buildings out of this shit for centuries and for good reason, it's not just tough but supposedly pretty straightforward to make, evidenced by the fact that the Zabrak's Outer Rim colonies have this metal out the fucking ass. Problem is that the Zabrak aren't exactly about to part with their metallurgy guild's trade secrets without a fight, and while Republic researchers have managed to get their grubby hands on some of it they're still not sure if A: how to fucking replicate it B: if replicating it is worth it, from what they can tell a LOT of work goes into a single kilogram of this stuff. It's a fucking wonder how the Zabrak have managed to create so much of it and why they've stuck to using it. Like I said earlier quadranium's color tends to shift towards the yellow end the more you heat treat it. Final stage annealed quadranium can be used for just about anything and is most valuable as armor and weapons, typically armor will be cold forged into the shape of whatever you to have an ideal grain flow before being tempered using zabrak space magic to ensure hardness and thus peak performance. tl;dr If you see orange-bronze quadranium, it's softer and more ductile than yellow-gold quadranium (which is harder but slightly brittle)
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>inb4 you already posted that agrinium image how'd you do it again?! doth not protest, bitch nigga Agrinium is an aluminum-based alloy with notTungsten and is really good at energy absorption. Originally used for ye olde Solar Sail-era spacecrafts to make their sails more radiation resistant (same story for deep-space repair droids plated in the stuff) the agrinium market's taken a huge hit as energy shielding has stolen it's spot in starship design, it turns out that having a power-hungry battery-devouring box project a space autism circle around you is much cheaper than plating your entire ship bow to stern in agrinium, who'da fucking thunk. Agrinium's found itself a niche in the blaster market though, as the black gorilla niggers at BlasTech realized it's energy absorption capabilities make it ideal for solving the scourge of the overheating blaster barrel without having to improve any other system whatsoever. Next up is Alusteel, which actually is cool because it's a very recent (barely created before the Mandalorian Wars) material that came about as a result of the Durasteel project, essentially being a much more expensive but infinitely more capable and resilient version of durasteel. New Game+ durasteel (Alusteel) is just durasteel that's been processed a little differently and has a few more elements crammed into it. Essentially you can take the best grades of durasteel, make it a little bit denser, and make every single property at least four tiers better. It's also ten times as expensive as durasteel.
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>>3699 Now you might be thinking, "why is this dumb nigger talking about steel who the fuck care-" I mean, "why hasn't this dumb nigger brought up durasteel yet is it on purpose oh God I can't wait to read what he has to say about metal some more wooo!" And yes it is on purpose. Picture this, the Republic's metal industry is a fucking mess. There's millions of morons making construction-grade metal and weapons grade steel out the ass, any shred of supervision by a senate appointed body (like a metallurgy guild or a space EPA) has been whittled away by carefully worded and carefully paid for bills by carefully bribed senators and even chancellors suffering chronic reelection pains. This effects everything, as shipmakers are forced to either play Tionese Roulette and test every steel on the market (a task their great grandchildren MIGHT finish) before settling on a reliable grade from a reliable mill (Who could go tits up at any moment and get bought out by a Neimoidian corporation and begin making cast metal parts, I fucking hate cast metal) OR do the big brain move and make your own materials, of course you can do that until you yourself go bankrupt because the scheming Dresselian merchants who sold you vanadium at great bargain began slipping carvanium in the shipments and your products suddenly become so fucking brittle that somebody dies when they fire up the Allah-fearing engine unit suicide bomb you unwittingly made for them. Now I'm going off the deep end here but you get the idea, a fucked up and unreliable steel sector fucks over everybody else, from construction to vehicles to weapons. If you want a real world example look at China, who's fucked up industries create metal hammers that bend backwards when swung, steel bolts that twist and sag when sneezed on, and cell tower booms that fracture and collapse when you attach a twenty pound radio to and depopulate the rusty playground below it. A ferrous alloy called Bondite was the most prolific of these metals, a senate-backed charter for metal factories across the Republic to create the frames for everything from i-beams to blaster nozzles led to such a fuckup that over a dozen worlds threatened secession after the new water tower collapsed and flooded three boroughs or the nuclear water boiler's water line broke and contaminated an entire megacity's water supply and now the new generation of nikto ghetto trash are growing extra limbs. A party celebrating the efforts of an entire sector's worth of worlds gets crashed (literally) as the newly commissioned space yacht's dampeners fail along with the engine deck's bondite bulkheads, ripping the entire ship in half when the hyperdrive was engaged. Xaart, a roofer from the world of Dagary Minor swung his hammer into a bondite nail and compacted said nail into a ball of metal and compacted the back of his hand into a ball of bruised organic fleshbag appendage. Luckily the hammer he was using was also made out of bondite, and it's head flattened upon touching his hand. You get the idea. Bondite sucks, an unregulated metal industry sucks, and relying on it for a moment is going to lead to you chewing on concrete like a duracrete slug and wishing you were a mindless mollusk instead of a sapient being standing on top of some groaning bondite i-beam three hundred meters off the ground. Enter Chancellor Tol Cressa of Eriadu and his Durasteel project. Huge reforms in the Republic steel sector aside, the Durasteel Project was a big brain nigga plan to create a simple, affordable, and universal steel that could be produced anywhere in the galaxy and still be used for just about anything (while being carefully regulated by Republic officials and inspectors) was a bold move. Effectively creating a state-backed alloy industry, the Durasteel project experimented with every process and element known to the Galaxy at the time, specifically to try and replicate the properties of Zabrak Quadranium without violating their manufacture patents and offending the head-horns' autism.

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For a homie. Real nigga hours are coming back in force, you can take that to the bank and take out a loan on that capital

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Custom Saber Thread Shiru 01/27/2021 (Wed) 01:29:32 No.4015 [Reply]
Do you have a custom lightsaber you'd like to show off? Do you prefer certain sites? Do you plan on getting certain sabers and/or parts? All discussion regarding custom lightsabers is welcome here!
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>>4027 Makashi and Ataru are my favorite fighting stles.
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If I had the money, I would buy 3 different sabers. The first of which is the Ultrasabers Apprentice, my "padawan blade" so to speak. It is a standard yellow lightsaber. My second is the Saberforge Vanquish. I would practice Form II with this one. I don't know if I can mod it to make it sound like the crystal's cracked like Kylo Ren's blade, but if there is a soundchip for that, I will find and use it for this saber, that way it would look and sound like crackling lightning. The third blade is the Ultrasabers Phantasm. It would have 2 white blades. I'm not exactly sure how I would use this one chronological-wise, but I do know I would have a hell of a time practicing Form IV with it.
>>4032 You can build it here. http://www.saberparts.com/#!/configure Damn, these go for like $150 for hilt and about $200 for blade so they're not cheap, they've also got pretty good craftsmanship.
>oy vey goyim don't you just love spending hundreds of dollars on star wars branded toys? don't forget to go to see star wars X: i'm sure this time will be different in theaters this christmas
>>4049 Wouldnt it be cheaper to build your own out of trash?

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Count Dooku speaks to Luke Skywalker Stormtrooper 11/18/2020 (Wed) 16:54:32 No.3766 [Reply]
Hello /sw/ over a year ago I posted my first version of this video. I got some feedback on editing the video differently and I did that. I was going to post it after I finished it, but then the board went down. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-lBbosbIw0 Here is my video. Thoughts? Do you like it?
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>>3852 Sith ghosts aren't the same as jedi ghosts. Jedi ghosts are basically an ascension into omnipresence, near-omniscience and absolute freedom for all eternity in both the living world and realm of the Force. A sith ghost is more like a traditional ghost. They are bound to one place in the realm of the living, have little control over their existence, may not even get to have a visible form, and unlike other souls, a Sith's spirit is doomed to decay and complete destruction within Illathurion unless they abandon their materialistic ways and seek to restore their own balance. Best thing they can do is posses victims temporarily unless they mastered the transfer essence technique.
>>3852 Dooku was a jedi once, but its just a random edit anyways. If Anakin could become a force ghost I dont see why Dooku cant.
>>3904 Anakin repented and basically gave his life in a selfless act. Dooku was just feeling betrayed, all the way down with the Dark Side "Treachery is the way of the Sith" were his final toughts.
>>3905 I always thought it was a great irony that Darth Vader was redeemed by killing his master, which is usually the most Sithly of acts. it's the motives and self-sacrifice that made all the difference, as you said.
>>3905 >"Treachery is the way of the Sith" Anyone else find it hilarious that despite all the cucks yelling about how the Empire were the ebil huwite supremacists they're far more like kikes?

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Separatist Canon: Writefaggotry Thread Stormtrooper 04/08/2020 (Wed) 07:58:23 No.2828 [Reply]
Welcome to the Sep Canon writefaggotry thread, here is where writers can go to contribute to the continuation to the old Expanded Universe. You can write, share, and check continuity in this thread. >What is Separatist Canon? Separatist Canon is an attempt by anons of this board to continue the Expanded Universe that was unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your point of view) aborted by (((Disney))). As the torch has been handed to us as fans, we must abide by the the rules that the likes of Zahn, Luceno, Stover, and Reeves used to keep Star Wars alive during it's lull between the OT and PT. Thus we must establish ground rules so that we can hold ourselves to our predecessor's standards of quality. >Rule 1 - Don't contradict G-canon. The Saga is the base of this entire enterprise, and it is ultimately at the heart of everything we do. >Rule 2 - Work together to connect our stories together and keep our facts straight. The main strength of the Expanded Universe was its inter-connectivity and the collaboration behind many of it's writers to not just write stories but expand on the vision of a galaxy far, far away that George Lucas envisioned for us on the silver screen. Obscure references, loose ends, and the occasional retcon make our stories better and close to what was published before the Dark Times. >Rule 3 - No Disneyshit allowed. The very idea behind Separatist Canon is that we reject everything Disney has done to Star Wars, and what other people like Dave Filoni have done to the timeline. Therefore TCW (the 2008 series), all of it's tie-in material, and anything Disney has published since the buyout (yes this includes Tarkin and Marvel 108).
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>>3862 Well,i personally have no problem with that..still who am i to decide. >>3102 Anon makes good points for the exile to be male and i too have always considered that to be the "cannon" of SWKOTR >>2828 I think there are some stuff from the 2008 series we can savage and considerer cannon, atleast most stuff prior to season seven that is. Just because the Mouse stole it, dosent mean we shouldnt be able to use it ourselves.
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>>2829 Ah the Sun Guard, one of my favorit "mercenary" militia faction in all of SW, sad that there isnt a lot of stuff for them. Still, i wonder how most of the star wars prequels would have played out if they went with the sun guard as the template for the GAR...
>>3864 >Ah the Sun Guard, one of my favorit "mercenary" militia faction in all of SW, sad that there isnt a lot of stuff for them. The Sun Guard and Jensaari deserved more love tbh
>>3862 I'd love to hear about them. No sense in making something if you don't share it, right?
Just a tidbit. The Zann Consortium advances their research with Ysalimary and develops a form of special forces. Each trooper is equipped with a fully enclosed set of body armor, armored nutrient harness with accompanying ysalimari and a personal stealth field generator. En masse these troops create a large force neutral zone and are a dangerous threat to any force sensitive individual and many other opposing forces. They are also equipped with personal shields instead of stealth and assigned to heavily populated areas such as spaceports in order to prevent subversive assets such as Jedi from infiltrating their areas of operation.

Stormtrooper 12/23/2019 (Mon) 04:48:44 No.1180 [Reply]
>get dragged to see the last nu-wars movie by family >it's shit even in the opening crawl, but at least something is happening >you can almost see JJ trying to salvage what little he can from the last two movies >palps is fucking davros >he's got a fish tank full of defective not-sidiouses >some idiot behind me is making it his duty to laugh at every fucking worthless quip and clap at the focus group-approved moments >soyboys are fucking real I should have stayed home. How was your day, /sw/? and go ahead, repost this cuckchan you disgusting crossposters- I can't fucking stop you
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>>1312 I cannot believe the pacing of these films. they skip so much it hurts me physically not knowing how they go form one place to the other so quickly.
>>1413 > to make sure I was half asleep. That's about the only way I can think of to be able to tolerate the trainwreck. The movie simply falls apart the moment you stop for 5 minutes to think wait, that doesn't make any sense why woul- "who cares we're off to the next scene mystery boxes and soulless nostalgia amirite!" >Wife liked it though so that's good. In the sense that she got to spend time with you, I hope. Because the movie actually has an awful moral (nothing is impossible if you are female, everything should be instantly given or near intantly mastered because, force is female you Sithlord!) that tries to pass itself as muh female empowerment when the Marey Sue spectacle wears off.
Did anyone else watch this thing and feel hideously exhausted by the end?
>>1180 fucking awful my life went to shit after that horrible forsaken bitch rey made what star war is now, a complete extremist propaganda it's not even sjw even more, it's fucking feminist diversity extremism
>>3928 That is what happens when you sell an IP to white slavers.

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Stormtrooper 05/06/2020 (Wed) 20:40:56 No.3017 [Reply]
Hey, star wars aficionados, Listen to this: we have revamped the Infinity Cup 2020 and we would really like to have you onboard. To join it, come to https://anon.cafe/icup/ and review your old team! Come have fun with us!
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The Group Stage of the Cup is now complete! Congratulations to the teams that advanced, the Cup continues with the Round of 16, beginning and ending on Saturday the 29th, and the final day, Sunday August 30th. The champion will be crowned this coming weekend, will you be there?
The Knockout Stage begins tomorrow afternoon. Join us for what could be the only sport running in North America! First match kicks off at the usual time: 11:00 AM PDT / 1:00 PM CDT / 2:00 PM EDT / 18:00 UTC
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Today is the day! A new divegrass champion will be crowned! The final matches of the tournament begin at 11:00 AM PDT, 1:00 PM CDT, 2:00 PM EDT, 18:00 UTC https://cytu.be/r/8cup BE THERE
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Infinity Cup 6 is now complete! Congratulations to /fascist/ who join the ranks of champions as they defeated /bane/ 2-1 in the Final! In an unprecedented turn of events, the Golden Boot will be shared by not 2, but 3 players: Alfred Legosen (/lego/), Ammit (/monster/), and Cuckquean-tan (/cuckquean/). Each player scored 6 goals officially through the Cup, fitting, giving it was the 6th edition. Thank you to every anon who chipped in throughout the Cup, and thank you especially to all the anons who took the time to tune in. We'll see you for ICUP 7!
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Hello /sw/, I arrive at your humble board to officially announce the GCUP! The GCUP will be an exhibition tournament between boards of the webring that represent nations of the world, and will be contested under usual ICUP rules. In addition, we'll also be hosting friendlies for non-national boards/teams as part of the festivites. Friendlies can be played under normal rules, or, if you choose, under alternate (meme) rulesets that will be decided closer to the Cup's kickoff. If you would like to participate, head on over to the pinned thread at our board on Cafe. The event is set to begin February 13th, 2021. Look forward to having you there!

Star Wars Detours Stormtrooper 12/01/2020 (Tue) 16:14:33 No.3815 [Reply]
After almost 10 years Weird Al Yankovic finally leaked an episode
>>3815 I chuckled a few times
>>3815 >4-LOM >4 Love Of Money Heh
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>>3815 >that qt rodian >mfw
>>3815 Surprisingly not that bad for what it is. Not near the level of robot chickem, but good enough.
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>>3828 Judging from the show's trailer, there were gonna be some tig old jiggly bitties in this show too.

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storytime thread Stormtrooper 01/01/2020 (Wed) 06:16:26 No.1490 [Reply]
Suppose it's story time again. This edition: vader wrecks some Jedi, as is probably evident from the title.
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>>2626 I love how Palpatine is just chilling until one of them dares to spill his drink.
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>Vader thread Just using it to annouce that half of Vader passed away few days ago. David Prowse, the actor that was the man behind the suit, the one who gave life to Vader presence, style and stances, passed away at the age of 85. He's now one with the Force.
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>>3813 Every day becomes more painful

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