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The Empire did nothing wrong

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GHORFA TV Stormtrooper 03/04/2021 (Thu) 00:59:21 No.4169
>Rkr'tlruk: "Jawenko Aargh" and welcome to the first broadcast of GHORFA TV, made possible by the deaths of holovision newsmen in Anchorhead whose magical "cameras" and "translator vocalizers" now belong to us, as is tradition. Our mission is to spread the words of our people across Tatooine so that all our brother tribes may briefly unite against the source of the outlander menace. All you colonial outlanders will learn your place and know that you to will be judged by Jawenko's fury when the time comes, as well as our sibling tribes once it comes time for us to judge them for their heresies! Now let us begin with our first subject of the day... >Rkr'tlruk: Jawa-Ghorfa relations... A war of words and sticks has erupted between ghorfa shamans, the jawas that sell their wares to outlanders (on holy land no less) and between heretical tribes who defend the selling of machines by jawas in the harrar event known as the "swap meets". >Orrror: A disgusting event. Some jawa merchandise was confiscated and burnt while some merchants in the Great Swap Meet were executed and their children sold into slavery. These machines, especially the aberrations they call "droids", are bought and sold, spreading the rotten and violent outlander way of life upon our world with their machines and droids which are in truth weapons made to destroy us, and then these jawas have the gall to tell me that we, the children of jawenko are the violent ones?! >Orrror: First, do away with these Great Swap Meets which only attract outlanders and spread weapons of death upon our planet, then you jawas can talk to me about this supposed (Tusken) terrorism! >H'Caar ("Jawa-loving heretic from stupid sibling tribe that worships lizards"): But do these simple machines truly pose a threat to us and our cultural identity? From what I've seen, these machines can actually help us deal with our water shortages. Maybe even put an end to our wandering lifesty- >Orrror: Shut your dung-filled mouth before I shut it for you with my stick! >Rkr'tlruk: Brothers please! We are here to unite against the outlander terrorists and the jawas. We can't start treating each others as inferiors when we- >Orrror: You expect me to treat a lizard worshiping akkdog as anything but an inferior?! He is a parasit-
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>>4169 >H'Caar ("Jawa-loving heretic from stupid sibling tribe that worships lizards"): How dare you?! Krayt is the father of us all, the father of Jawenko and the dragons! It is he and his children that gift us with food, armor, hides and life-giving pearls yet you expect me to stand here and- >Orrror: I WILL BEAT YOU WITH MY GADERFFII STICK FOR YOUR INSOLENCE! >Rkr'tlruk: Brothers enough! You are letting your pride show weakness in the eyes of the outlanders and I will not hesitate to summon the chieftain to execute you here and now! Now cease your petty insolence bef- >Orrror: Petty?! You expect me to treat this "creature" as if he is an equal?! He is less than nothing! He is less than a jawa even! I will no- >Rkr'tlruk: ANSWER HIM OR I WILL BREAK YOUR SKULL! >Orrror: You lizard sympathizing dog! Are you really so blind?! H'Caar is proficient in the art of stupidity, idiocy and the defense of superstitions! >H'Caar ("Jawa-loving heretic from stupid sibling tribe that worships lizards"): [Sounds of Heave Breathing and Choking] You are an insolent lowlife! You cease your banthashit! >Orror: Me? A lowlife? >H'Caar ("Jawa-loving heretic from stupid sibling tribe that worships lizards"): You dare deny it after you call your own brothers animals?! >Orror: Firstly, you are no brother of mine. Secondly- >Rkr'tlruk: This is going too far! >Orror: Rkr'tlruk shut up! You are supported by the jawas. I know you have traded with them, I know you have purchased one of their heinous "nanny droids" and disguised it as your new wife- >Rkr'tlruk: This is an outrage! STOP WITH YOUR LIES- >Orror: You are a Jawa lover operating as a storyteller in our sacred land, dealing under the table! >H'Caar ("Jawa-loving heretic from stupid sibling tribe that worships lizards"): You are an insolent womp rat with no honor! >Orror: You (H'Caar) shut up. And you (Rkr'tlruk)... you are a worrt just like your mother and brought me an idiotic lizard-loving madman. >Rkr'tlruk: I didn't "bring" anyone, Muharibka Orror. I'm only here to moderate and you are testing my patience, and you have stretched it to its limit with your idiocy! If anyone is in league with the Outlanders, it is you! >Orror: By Jawenko, all the accusations that you are hurling at me. If I weren't an honorable warrior, I'd hit your wife in the face with my garderffii and lay with your daughter... >H'Caar ("Jawa-loving heretic from stupid sibling tribe that worships lizards"): And I would hit you in the face with 30 gaderffii sticks. >Orror: You be quiet. I'm not talking to you. You won't speak unless spoken to like the filthy lizard-loving jawa that you are! >H'Caar ("Jawa-loving heretic from stupid sibling tribe that worships lizards"): You make bold claims for one who is clearly in the pocket of the outlanders! >Orror: The Demon Outlander take you! >Rkr'tlruk: Answer him Muharibka Orror. He (H'Caar) just accused you (Orror) of receiving outlander money. >Orror: I'll answer him with a gaderffii stick to his face and to the face of whoever gave birth to him.
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>>4170 >H'Caar: I've said it once and I'll say it again. I will beat you with 30 gaderffii sticks for your insolence. >Orror: You are an impudent krayt fucker and you have no honor! >H'Caar: Shut up or I'll collapse your own hut upon yo- >Orror: OH SHUT UP! >H'Caar: YOU ARE TRYING TO ENFORCE AN OUTLANDER AGENDA! >Orror: ME!? AND OUTLANDER AGENDA?! ENOUGH WITH THIS STUPIDITY! [throws gaderffii] >H'Caar: Damn you and the whore bantha who gave birth to you! [throws gaderffii] >Rkr'tlruk: We can't go on like this! No no no! Brothers I beg you...- >Orror: Only (((Jawas))) beg and bring idiots like this before me! >Rkr'tlruk: This can't go on. I have to stop the broadcast now. Someone call the chieftain! I apologize to my fellow trib- >Orror: Apologize for being an insolent jawa fucking worrt! [grasps gaderffii] >Rkr'tlruk: ... I apologize to my fellow tribes for what has just happened. And you Outlanders have only witnessed the rambling of a few mad fools who do not represent the true might of the sand peopl- >H'Caar: This is unacceptable Rkr. This is wrong Rkr! [approaches Orror with a gaderffii] >Rkr'tlruk: Dear viewers... Wait H'Caar! STOP!
>>4171 >H'Caar: UUUUURRRRRRRRR! [kicking noises]+[smashes Orror's right eye with gaderffii] >Rkr'tlruk: No! This is wron- >Orror: UUUUUUUUURRRR URRUURURUR!!!!!! [pulls out slugthrower] >Rkr'tlruk: Wait Orror! By Jawenko please! >Orror: UUUUUUUUUUUURURURUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >[video disabled] >[sounds of gunshots] >[men screaming] >[not just the men] >[but the women and children too] >[audio disabled] >[transmission over]
>>4169 Priceless. Do you have more?
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>>4173 >Chieftain Gorr'r: Tune in next week outlander! You'll know the true meaning of fear then!
He is even worse than a jawa, he is - may the the Sky Brothers forgive me for utterting this word - an Outsider
>>4175 >three moons have since passed

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